Negotiating

Necessary skill for every successful manager

There is a general definition of negotiating which says: “Negotiating is basic means to get from the others what you want. It is a designed communication that helps you reach an agreement when two interested parties have common, but simultaneously opposed interests”.

Managers in organizations often face situations when they are to deal with opposed views of two or more interested parties. The reactions in such situations most often depend on the individuals’ mood at that moment, on their personal views about the problem that most often lead to widening the gap. Solving the problem is further than in the beginning and relations get worse.

The process that should be passed in order to approach the views and attitudes of the interested parties is actually negotiating. The result should be a contract, an agreement, sale, winning, or in one word, reaching common interest for a certain thing.

Negotiating as a skill is necessary for every successful manager. Negotiating skills are necessary in all functions that a manager performs (planning, making a team and organizing, control and management). Negotiating is particularly relevant in the process of decisions making.

One of the biggest problems when negotiating, regardless of whether it is about a family argument or a peace agreement between two nations in war, is that each party takes a position and defends it with all means available. This way of negotiating is traditional and also called competitive negotiating or positioning (”bargaining”). Reaching an agreement in this way often leads to making bad decisions and agreements. When negotiators, “bargain” taking a side, they practically lock themselves in that position. The more the negotiator defends his position from the attacks of the other party, the more he becomes dedicated and stands firmly behind his attitudes. In that case, the negotiator pays more attention to the position than to the contents of negotiating, so the agreement is less favorable for both parties. Taking positions is an inefficient way of reaching an agreement. It encourages the negotiator to fight for his attitude firmly and to make very small concessions only when necessary to continue the process of negotiating. It all takes a lot of time and the costs for reaching an agreement increase, as well as the risk for the agreement not to be reached at all. This is particularly complex when more than two parties are involved in the negotiating process. In such situation, taking positions leads to forming non-principled groupings around one common interest that is often more symbolic than essential.  

In practice managers almost always routinely practice position bargaining. He/she takes a position, argues about it and finally reaches an agreement in order to reach compromise. The compromise results in an agreement where both parties have made concessions, but have also imposed their conditions. The gain is often smaller than the concession.

There are two kinds of traditional negotiating: firm and soft way of negotiating.

Soft way of negotiating is based on the principle that negotiators are friends and it trusts the other negotiating party. The importance of building and keeping relations with the other party is emphasized. If the other party also strives for keeping good relations, an agreement can be easily reached. But focusing on keeping good and friendly relations with the other party in the negotiating process leads to bad (“slimy“) agreements. More seriously, if the manager applies the “soft” way of negotiating, he brings himself into a position to lose in the negotiations with someone who is firmer in his positions. If the “firm” negotiator insists on his position, even putting pressure and the manager who practices soft negotiating insists only on reaching the agreement and continuously withdraws from his positions, the result is a completely unfavorable agreement for the one and very favorable for the other party.

The soft way of negotiating is not negotiating at all. The manager starts from a position of weakness and his basic idea is to avoid the conflict and to accept any agreement. He/she leads himself/herself from a position to reach an agreement at any price, continuously offering privileges and changing his/her position.

On the other hand, firm negotiating is based on the principle that the negotiators are rivals and victory is the goal. In the firm negotiating the manager takes a position and keeps it, trying to win as much benefits as possible for himself, not paying attention to his behavior towards the other party in the negotiations. The negotiator’s ego is here identified with his position, so the direction of the conversation is to “beat the arguments“ of the other party, using pressures. The result is discontent, bad decisions and unfavorable agreements and broken human relations, too.   

 

CONCEPT PAGE

Mediation is a process of facilitating communication between two opposed parties involving a third person called a mediator.

Mediation is a process most often used in civil lawsuits, except from ones when court solving is necessary or when the problem is related to some other lawsuit.

In the Western European countries mediation is most often used during divorces.